We all crave real connection—

The kind of community where you can be yourself without fear of judgment or rejection. But let’s face it: what often passes for community in what has been labeled "church" isn’t cutting it, nor does it give you the time needed to build it. The friendships are easy to find in a programmed service you show up to, but they rarely—if ever—lead to freedom.

Why? Because belonging in these spaces often comes with conditions—based on how consistently you show up and how well you measure up to a flawed standard. Don’t believe me? Step away for a while and watch what happens to the friendships you thought you had.

Where Law Is King, Fear Rules

The crowd that believes Christianity is about loving God and others with all their strength never finds relief in the truth: it’s actually a fellowship for those who’ve given up on their ability to do so. Instead, they’re stuck in a cycle of fear, pretending, and striving—endlessly exhausted. When you think faith is about meeting the Law’s standards (which were meant to show we can’t), you end up wearing a mask (2 Corinthians 3:7-9).

You can’t afford to let others see your flaws because you’re too busy trying to hide them from those you are seeking belonging with.

In this environment, sin shocks and belonging wavers. Listening to sermons becomes the diet, and relationships become shallow because vulnerability is a threat. And programmed church services, aimed at producing polished faith, only deepen the problem. They create a culture where people feel pressured to put on a performance rather than show up as they truly are in life.

Where Jesus Is King, Grace Reigns

What we need is something more real, raw, and everyday than programmed services. We need unlabeled friendships—like what Jesus actually did—to share and find relief instead of religion. Conversations where sin doesn’t shock and belonging remains.

This is the kind of fellowship that leads to freedom in who Jesus is for us.

True community begins with grace that says, “You belong, no matter what.” By definition, grace cannot be earned by good behavior or lost by failure. It’s freely given (Eph 2:8-9). And when we live in this grace, it changes how we relate to one another.

Instead of hiding our struggles, we share them. Instead of striving to be perfect, we rest in the truth that Jesus already is.

The Everyday Moments of Life

The truth is, the community we need to experience freedom isn’t found in systems that deny you’re already free in who Jesus is. It’s discovered in the everyday moments of life—sharing coffee, taking a walk, or gathering around the dinner table. It’s messy, imperfect, and unpolished. But it’s real. And that’s where true freedom is found.

So if you’re tired of striving, if you’re longing for something more real, take a step toward this kind of community by being the friend who helps others find relief—in your home, at work, or wherever you are. So pray for these. Share what you’re finding. And see who comes around.

To learn more about how to go about being the Church where you are through friendships, grab a copy of When Church Is Friendship. It’s free, short, fun, and practical. You can access it with your free account. If you don’t have one yet, use the link below.

Cheers!